The Space Between


Thanks for giving me a ride home earlier. I just saved a lot of cash on that. Hope you can solve the I'm-not-getting-fat-at-all-problem someday. And thanks for not being a chismoso and respecting my privacy on my shitty life.



They're your living treasures next to your bloodline.

But sometimes, some of them get a little...

...too clingy.

Research says that we choose our friends based on a lot of factors. We choose them by a) how frequently they show up in our lives, b) how they also like us, c) how we have similarities, d) how they look like, e) how our family thinks about them, f) how capable we are of keeping up with their success and lastly and the my point of this post: g) how we can share secrets to them.

And that's probably the most significant of all the factors because telling someone your deep secrets, biggest fears and silent dreams means your carrying a part of that person.

And you, my friend, should handle it with care.

But despite all the things you know about your friend, you can't know everything about that person. Because he/she can choose one part of it but not tell you the whole piece. Its the law. Its an unwritten law of the universe.

Ever heard of the Johari's window? No? 
Google it.

*I'm serious. Google it. I'll give you 3 minutes.*

Well, anyway. The law.

Your BFF has secrets he/she doesn't want to tell you. Maybe because he's ashamed of it. Maybe he thinks you don't deserve to know it. Maybe he thinks you won't get it. Maybe he thinks you'll start criticizing him. Or maybe he just doesn't want to.

My point is, regardless of how close you are or how many crazy and tear-jerking moments you've been through, there will always be that itty bitty space between both of you.


That's the law.

You have a life.
He has a life.
She has a life.
Let them live it.

I know, I know. You want to help by talking things over. Or you might think you can make things feel better. And it's not wrong to think that way. It's sweet, really but-


And please don't get mad. It doesn't mean your friend doesn't trust you. But for Pete's sake respect her decision for not telling you all those shiz. I mean, its not like you had this contract that you should not keep something from each other.

Unless if you do then stop reading this now. You just broke a promise, man. Shame on you!


And don't be sad. Because there's nothing to be sad about. It doesn't mean the friendship is ending. Don't be depressed and don't over react to it. 

You see, dude. I know it hurts. 

I totally feel you. The worst part is probably finding out that someone else know the secrets rather than you. Then you start looking at your friendship bridge falling down and you may start crying. Or may even get madder. 

But I speak on their behalf:

I trust you.

That's why I chose to tell you all those things about me. But I'm human. I may be a multi-cellular organism but I have my own life. I need to do things on my own. And  some things are better if I try to figure it out by  myself. It's not that I don't need you. I do. Not just not on this. Because I may look sad, depressed even, but I feel like I have to face some dilemmas by my own. I know you want to help. But I choose not to ask for it.

And I know you have secrets you're keeping away from me too.

Friendship is such a tease, really.

How we react to people and how they respond to us makes us realize what kind of beings we are. Because if you Googled Johari's window, you'll know. There will always be something in us that needs to be hidden; either from friends, family or even ourselves. 

It's not lying.

It's just not revealing.

So next time you start to make the I'm-going-to-ignore-from-now-on-face to your friend, ask yourself this:

Have you really revealed everything to him/her? Because if you have been truly transparent then you have the right to know  what he/she's hiding. 

But if haven't then-



Lost Stars by Adam Levine
Times Like These by Foo Fighters
Put Your Records On Corinne Bailey
Adore You by Miley Cyrus
Ain't it Fun by Paramore

 (Photos not mine. They belong to whoever owns them.)


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