A Letter to Luna

I wish heaven has a good Wifi signal for you to access my blog. 

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Hi, mom. 

It's not the first time I've written a letter to you. I've been giving you random letters since I was a little girl and I remember how you smile at me while folding them to fit inside your wallet. I've always thought you peek at them whenever you feel down because I saw you once and you tried to hid your tears from me because you don't want me to see how weak you were. 

You always wanted me and my siblings to fear you; you always get mad at my stupid actions. It broke my heart a dozen times and I kept crying until I can no longer breathe. Then you'd hold me tight and say sorry; that you never meant to hurt me. You kept apologizing until I'd calm down. 

I grew up and I noticed that you no longer hug me when I cry too much. I guess you thought I was big enough to calm myself down. But I wasn't. I never really learned to calm myself without your embrace. Because even though you hurt me, I knew you did it 'cause you love me. And to me, you're the best mother ever. 

 I don't care what they say about you. 

I feel damn lucky you're my mom. They never actually understood what you were going through even before you were sick and now I know how you feel. 

I know the frequent changes in your mood doesn't mean your crazy. I knew why your temper was so short. I knew why you cried a lot. I understand why you laugh easily. Truth be told, I feel all those things right now and the thought of you relaxes me.

I love you, mom. Happy Birthday.

I'll be playing your favorite band all day.

LOVE,
 

PLAYLIST:

Unintended

Starlight

Dead Star 

Absolution

Madness

by Muse