I hate defeat. No, it's not because of losing my dignity or experiencing failure, it's because I start imagining things I 'm not suppose to like thinking you'd die in a split second yet half of my mind wants me to stop but doesn't win. Sorry if this scares you but I really feel like a total murderer if I get defeated. I start imagining you getting stabbed in the back, getting hit by a car and SOMETIMES slaughtered. And the freaky thing about it is that while I'm thinking about this I... well, I smile. Or laugh. I think it's because of the books I read. But on the bright side, I return to my normal side after that and  I regret what I just thought.

The following situations may show outcome of evil thoughts:

* Embarrassment

* Scolding me for a thing I did not do.

* Telling me what I did was wrong when actually you didn't hear me well and what I did was actually right and good.

* Backstabbing me. ( Now this won't particularly make me regret any imagination. HA-HA! )


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