My Grain for You

Rachel Lewis:

“I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, Kiss me harder, and You’re a good person, and, You brighten my day. I live my life as straight-forward as possible.

Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.

Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.

But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.
And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.

We never know when the bus is coming.”



The other day, I finished enrolling for the second semester of my third-year life in Cebu Normal University.

*insert dwarf applauding*

And believe me, it took a whole day for me to reach the finish line. I'm thankful that I spent most of the lingering with my classmates/friends where I get to know them more and for them to know me more. I had a fun time with them.

Truth be told I sort of missed  being a normal teenager; where hanging out with friends, hormones and school shit only revolve on that orbit. Now I have to deal with adult stuff like bills, identity crisis and annoying workmates.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to deal with all these stuff because they stress me out. It depresses me and most of all: it drives me crazy! It gives me a migraine and the only thing that calms me down is myself. Yeah sure, some people help me but they don't really understand how my mind works. So it's up to me to probably hyperventilate all the shit coming inside and release them into the wild.

*Mike Wazowski reference*

My point is I can sometimes be desperate for a normal life. But the more I ask for it, the less I get it. Instead, it escalates even more which may be the reason why you sometimes see me crying in a corner or you notice my intense mood swings.

A lot of times I envy people and wish I was them. The weird thing about it is that some people envy me.

Its funny how we want to trade life with people because they have the limelight we want.  But we never know their dark side, their flaws and their problems. Or what they're going through.

But that's how life works, I guess. We reimagine ourselves: what if my life was like that? What if I was more like her? What if I have a flower on my head, would I feel better? Would my life be better?

Or you'd feel the same.
We'd feel the same.
And we'd still be wishing we're still someone else.



And let's promise that from now on that we will embrace our flaws and accept our life the way it should be. We'll just have to make the best of it each and everyday. And when everything sucks, we will still love ourselves. 


You just made a pact with me. No backing out!

Enjoy the rest of your daaaay~



It's Not Unusual by Tom Jones
Sing A Happy Song by O-Jays
You Get What You Give by New Radicals
You're Beautiful by James Blunt
Mercy by Muse


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