drunken monologues part vii (but it's all me)

I am grateful I document my life for people's (and my own) entertainment.

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Hello and welcome to another drunken monologues post. 

This will be different from the other posts I made because everything in here is extracted from my Keep Notes, and they're all dreams and nightmares. I edited some sentences because these were all written immediately after waking up with one eye open. 

I also changed the names and will not explain who they are to keep the out-of-context-yy essence of drunken monologues. I kept the dates. Enjoy.

JULY 4 2020

Another vivid dream.

My brother passed a science school. My uncle, Pablo, was there and he was bragging Kirk to everybody.

Richard Gomez was some sort of principal. Daniel had AIDs. (He wanted to have sex with me but I didn't because I felt like it was wrong, and also he had bubbly shit coming out of his stomach)

It was implied that I worked for Mr. Gomez as some sort of student assistant. My workmates and I were in school. Sean was happy to see me. We smoked. I lipsynced to Tupac's Changes. 

SEP 20 2020

Birds and babies.

Another dream. This was a little simpler but still bizarre. I was working on making a music video, or some sort of a short film. It involved a lot of toddlers and birds. We had an army of ducks, tons of chicken, and idk what the other breed was but they also looked silly. The babies, on the other hand, were playing. And they were running around with our guidance. Idk the whole point of the project. Jen Reyes was there.

NOV 03 2020

I wanted to kill someone. 

I had a bad dream. It was one of the first ones I had outside my own house. I was in Seans's place.

The setting of the dream was apocalyptic. It was dark. There were curfews and shit. I remembered waking up because I was waiting for Sean to go home. And for some reason, we were living in the same place where my fam was living. We were talking about a video game, then my sister saw this chat, and she told me I was lame haha so I went to her room, then I grabbed this giant wooden decoration. It was about my size, and it was really heavy. I wanted to bang her head with it. I kept saying, "tell me what I did wrong because I want to be a good sister"

Then I woke up. Dennis saw me. It was embarrassing. I'm still nervous about it. My heart is stressed. I slept late. And had coffee before sleeping. I was palpitating. I still am. 

NOV 21 2020

Untitled

Raised by two badass carpenters
They try to return me one day
But my real father tries to shoot me

Dream. I woke up screaming.

I was finally going home to my real father. He lives right next to a man A (Male) and B (Female) needs to kill. The man they need to kill, C, (Mexican) turned out to be a nice guy. In my dream, I already saw everything that was going to happen but without context. I saw A and B mad because C wouldn't answer the door. But when we arrived, it turned out C was working on something and was wearing headphones.

We were disguised as carpentry people, and we were wearing cool onesies.

A was outside talking on the phone to D (a black man who was implied to be my father). In my dream, it was implied that I hated A and B for not returning me to my real dad sooner. I was happy they finally did. In my dream, I already knew D wasn't home because I heard A saying, "Kyla, deary, come here.." and he talks back on the phone to D, "Okay sir, I will give you an address of where she and her cousin lives.."

So basically A was implying I shouldn't go to D. But I got mad so I went next door because I knew D was gonna be there, and I wanted to see him.

I think I yelled so D can hear me scream on the phone and I told him I will be by his door. This made A mad, and gave me a disapproving look.

When I opened the door to D's place, he had a gun pointed at me, but I ran fast so he wasn't able to shoot me.

That's when I woke up.

Idk how to write this down, but it turns out A and B weren't gonna kill C in the end. And they only carry those weapons because they didn't trust D. They lied to me because they were protecting me from D because he wanted to kill me. 

B was a blonde woman, she looked like Tilda Swinton. She was wearing a blue onesie.
A was a handsome fella. He was wearing orange.
And D looked like Jordan Peele LOL. 

APRIL 3 2021

Lost Luggage + Mad Momma

I dreamt about losing a piece of luggage. And I was looking for it in my entire dream. I actually lost the luggage during the dream. Which is my fault.

The dream was about this giant convention center. A lot of people were there. It was almost Greek-ish. Mary was there too. Pete. Greg and other friends. For a moment they left me, and I was just alone, answering this weird test.

The place was large that if you get lost, you will be lost for a long time. And I was lost for a long time. Then I found Susie, and she helped me. She showed me where to go.

I found my bag in the end. I woke up.

#

Prior to this, I had a paralyzing dream. I was arguing with my mom. She wasn't proud of me, so I got mad at her. I yelled at her, "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??" Grandma was there, she was the mediator. She was proud of me.

But anyway, I woke up during the argument. Dad says I was screaming. I was.

OCT 14 2021 

Weird place in my dream.

There's a place in my dream where it's really colorful like it's a cafe-like place and then there is a bathroom at the end of the building and for some reason, everybody wants to be in that bathroom because it's like a magical bathroom and a lot of people want to experience it and I've been inside this place so many times but I've never experienced being inside the bathroom yet!

There's also a thing that happens in the place where strange animals show up and I'm not talking about magical animals, more like just exotic animals. They are known to show up every now and then, like, baby snakes or baby crabs, and anything really. That place somehow creates them, idk.

I'd like to think that place is a stop for everyone in the "dream world" and I'd like to think that everybody in the world has seen that place and they all stop there to take a shower. HAHA

MAY 08 2022

I had a really long dream.

It started out really simple, where I was in this neighborhood, living with friends (who idk in real life). There were also witches in the cast of this dream.

Anyway, in the last act of the dream, everyone in the neighborhood will turn into random furry animals, including me. And the witches need to kill everyone. I think their goal was to kill me and my friends, but since I knew their plan from the start, I had a chance to run far away. I even got the chance to tell a guy I love him. (I am laughing writing this)

The dream ended in a way that the witches were all aiming to look for animals that might be me, and they get disappointed every time they found out it's not me.

I don't know what animal I turned into, but I knew I kept running and hiding from them. I think in the end, all my friends survived too. 

OKAY. that's it for now. I have a lot of these because I also treat them as writing exercises. Maybe I'll make a part 2, or something. Anyway, I wanted to share the thought that things get pretty weird in dreams and some of us try to overthink them.

Dreams and nightmares, to me, are the brain's attempt to make sense of everything dumped into it (what you saw recently, what you listened to, what you did, etc) in a form of a movie, with plots and casts and all. There are sprinkles of emotions and trauma, of course, so it's extra helpful to have this sense of awareness - like - what gave you stress that day? What did you eat before sleeping? What role does so and so play in your life? Blah blah blah.

It shouldn't dictate your real-world decisions, but instead, just give you enough details and a moment to reflect on yourself.

Writing dreams are also good therapy because in the long run, you'll get familiar with your 'dream world' setup and it won't scare you anymore. 

Aight, amma transcend.

LOVE,

PLAYLIST:

Candy by Mandy Moore

Fresh Squeezed by Duncan Fellows

State of Grace by Taylor Swift

Buzz Me In by Remi Wolf

After the Glitter Fades by Stevie Nicks