the philosophy behind my snack


Ha! You thought I’d give up on writing ha-ha! Jokes on you I already did [crying intensifies]

Okay okay enough drama. 
I’m kidding. Hi good evening. 
Let’s get back to business. 

Why do I feel like I sound like I’m about to start a YouTube video???

[TRANSITION BUT SO SUBTLE THAT IT’S NOT LIKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO]

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Hey everyone,

How are you? I hope you spent most of your days being kind to yourself. As for me, the past few weeks was the perfect time (according to my brain) to have a midlife crisis. [slow clap, gets slower, clapping stops] But as usual I held a few breaths going through the situation, and came out recharged, revamped, and reinforced. And here I am, writing to you as if I’m obliged to tell you about my life. This is how I will be immortalized: an email. It's an honor.


(For those who are new here, welcome. Thank you for joining my kindness kulto (if The Love Club isn’t allowed to get patented, then I’m renaming that page Kindness Kulto and maybe ask everyone to get matching tattoos). My social media baby is growing! Can we just talk about that for a sec? I’m super thrilled about that part of my life. It’s one of the things I’m proud of, you know? Something my past self’s eyes would beam for. Thanks for being part of this excitement!

ANYWHO- I wanted to tell you guys about Alan Watts, but I wasn’t sure how to begin. I’ve recently come across a lot of bad energy but I try my best to not absorb any of it because I’m human and I also juggle my own shiz. Whenever this sort of situation happens I always run back to any philosophical salvation on my shelf and it just so happens that Alan Watts was the guy. I first heard about him because one of my friends who just got out of a crappy relationship told me Watts kept her calm and that I should I get to know him, or listen to him when I’m meditating. So I did, and after that I got out a toxic relationship. 



Kidding aside, Watts didn’t exactly convince me to take action on anything. It was more of—this is going to sound pretentious but I swear I mean it—an awakening. He pushed a reset button, and I returned to being a child: full of wonder yet knowing I can’t know everything, and accepting that some things are just the way they are. (Not to be confused with laziness because that’s just being lazy).

And I guess among the philosophers and the people I look up to, he also said something similar to what I always keep telling myself—I’m the universe (and that means you are too). It sounds so silly but it’s true. Sometimes we’re too focused on being helpless and it’s hard to see how powerful we actually are. It becomes a difficult thing to grasp especially when the mind is clouded by all sorts of stuff we give power to.



It’s complex and simple at the same time. Complex because great power comes with great responsibility, and simple because it’s really easy to stop fussing about something, most of us just don’t want to.

I have been doing this thing where I say the phrase, “I’m invincible”, or “No one can stop me” out loud whenever I do something mundane like making a peanut butter sandwich, or taking a walk—it’s my way of telling fate “Fuck you, you were mean to me but I’m not going to let you ruin my day. I am going to eat this peanut butter sandwich, enjoy it, and sleep well because tomorrow I’m reborn.”



It works. For me. Maybe because I mean it. Maybe I do believe rewards are not just for “winning” but for also doing my best no matter the outcome. I mean, the world is already throwing awful things at me, why would I participate in helping it?

Good night.

LOVE,



PLAYLIST: 
Jane by LAUNDRY DAY
Nothing in Return by Monsune
Marigolds by Early Eyes
Power by Alex Gravett, Jorge Mazola, Caellum 
XS by Rina Sawayama 


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