drunken monologues part v (quarantine edition)

There will be moments you might feel that you wasted your time years ago. Well I’m here to tell you didn't. You're a better version of you now, and you will always be better every day. You learned how to make hard choices, you're now aware of you (I hope), and/or you learned compassion along the way.

So calm down.

You're doing fine.



Do I need to keep introducing drunken monologues to everyone? Yes? Okay. 

I carry a journal with me wherever I go and any time someone says something that sparks an idea (from my convos with them or overheard from strangers), I write them down. Most of the time, I develop it into a story, use it for another write-up, or just dump them all here because it's fun to read them without context and with a buzz from my beer:

"That's their problem, not mine."

"In another world, you're my girlfriend. I'm so glad we're in this world."

"Do you notice how they just went from stupid to full retard? It's like they don't even know what's happening."

"How are you and my brother? Don't tell him I asked."

"Oh shit, that's my cue: boooooooo!"

"Thanks for keeping me sane. I'm about to bleach my hair."

"You can't just say no to the system!"

"Does that mean I can borrow her baby?"

"I just want to destroy stuff."

"Please tell me you have the vaccine."

"I like helping old people."

"The only thing that makes me happy now are holidays."

"I will definitely share my money with you, fam."

"Ugh, gross. I think I love him."

"I spilled my chocolate drink because I tried to save a cockroach."

"Taylor Swift ruined my moment. Again."

"I don't know this old woman but I love her already."

"I know this is two months late but, happy birthday!"


"If you want to start something alone, make sure you have a lot of passion with you."

"Why are we looking at the sky again?"

"Sorry this reply is late I was crying for three hours straight. I hate the government."

"See you at the vegetable stand."

"BRB. Dying."

"Dammit. I didn't use the semi-colon correctly."

"Ooooh, it works! The pain is gone!"

"I should publish my journal and use it for profit."

"This tastes horrible, can I have my money back?"

"I hope she gets bad sunburns."

"I fancied you the moment I saw you! Didn't you fancy me too?"

"This internet connection wants me to throw a tantrum."

"If you need a friend, holler at yo boy."



Baby, Now That I've Found You by The Foundations
Screwed by Janelle Monáe & Zoë Kravitz
Sunny by Boney. M
December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night) by Frank Valli & The Four Seasons
Popular Song by MIKA and Ariana Grande


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