Drunken Monologues Part IV

Do you want to drink then go for a walk?


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Welcome to another episode of Drunken Monologues where I present to you my collection of out-of-context one-liners for the month of January:

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

"Frozone woud have saved some of the people from Taal's eruption."

"You need to work on your squats."

"I'm so stressed right now but I have soft skin so that's something to be grateful for."

"They met and they got married right away! I don't want to watch this anymore."

"No twerking in the office."

"He told me that if I cry, it means I want people's attention."

"Fergie did a cover of  MJ's Thriller. Don't listen to it."

"I don't want to live with her. I mean, I don't hate her but I don't like her either."

"This country and its people pisses me off a lot."

"Fuck. I love you. For realsies."

"I don't like pretending because 1) I hate lying and 2) I AM NOT SATISFIED!"

"DENISE. GET OUT OF THERE. SHOW ME YOUR TITTIES."

"The spirits guide me to Jollibee."

"I want to be a Power Ranger!"

"Strange. Why are we horny all of a sudden."

"PADDINGTON! PADDINGTON! PADDINGTON!"

"Thanks for waking me up and inspiring me to work."

"I don't need umbrellas. They disappoint me."

"What's wrong with you? Stop being toxic!"

"I said shut up. Shut up and kiss me."

"Reality is far more fun than fiction."

Back story: Drunken Monologues was coined from an Arctic Monkeys song called No. 1 Party Anthem. Although, this segment has nothing to do with the band nor the song. This is just a bunch of one-liners from me, my friends, family or anyone I had a conversation with or anyone I overheard talking. I jot these things down, read them while drinking and recite them alone. If you want to read more, here's I, II and III.

LOVE,

Water by Ra Ra Riot
Primadonna by MARINA
I Believe In a Thing Called Love by The Darkness
The Story of Us by Taylor Swift
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy