Now I'm All Gone

You seem like the type
To love 'em and leave 'em
And disappear right after this song
So give me the night
To show you, hold you
Don't leave me out here dancin' alone

Yes, you're right--- that is a Bieber quote. And no, it doesn't stop there.
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Hola!

Wasn't having a good day until I decided to go out for a swim. I don't really like pools but this place was an exception. 

Behold: 

With Tere

'Cause you are,

The only thing that I got right now

One day when the sky is falling,

I'll be standing right next to you

I spent the Saturday afternoon with my co-trainers in Montebello Villa Hotel. 

But before I got there, I got lost in Mandaue with my Grabcar driver because for some reason-- the map was showing a different address. I literally paid him thrice the amount of what I was going to pay for if GOOGLE MAP DIDN'T MESS EVERYTHING UP!

But anyway-- see? It's pretty. That tree is almost dad's age.

Also, I learned a lot of things yesterday-- but most of that happened after the little get-together. On my way back to the city, I bumped into two of my ex-classmates and it was nice seeing familiar faces.

I arrived home and found out I couldn't sleep. Mostly because I find myself crying all the time. I had been acting weird lately (according to a lot of people) and I figured the only thing keeping me sane are long rides and loud music. 

Your world is my world

And my fight is your fight

Because despite the fact that life had been showering me with endless opportunities (like that art/love project I'm working on; more details next time), little things keep bothering me too. My boss said it might be because I don't ask for help-- and it's true. I hate asking for help. I feel weak and vulnerable. That is totally the opposite of Batgirl and that is ultimately not what an independent woman should do.

So it got me thinking: am I even a Batgirl?

I decided to leave home again and take a walk with Shane. He was sweet enough to go out with me. It makes me feel sad that he will be going to Manila and staying there forever. He sounds excited thought, which makes me feel that he's happy about the idea that he's restarting his life there. 

He told me he wanted to have a tattoo of a puso (the rice wrapped in coconut leaves) or maybe a sea tutle. He said his spirit animal is a turtle and it seemed he was sure of it. I was jealous of his certainty. 

In fact, I get jealous on anyone's assurance of who they are and what they want to do. Their confidence is a threat to me. But talking to Shane yesterday, I realized I should not always perceive it as a threat rather, just be happy for them.

We were mostly drinking coffee & tea, eating donuts, quoting famous movie lines, dancing and singing Train's Drive By. 

There was this a part where we needed to look for an ATM machine so we could withdraw money. 

I got the whole pool to mysef

I'm strong enough to climb the highest tower

And fast enough to run across the sea 

My favorite part was when he broke his slipper and we tried looking for something to fix it. We got so desperate that we used some man's lit cigarette on the ground and tried to burn a used plastic cup to make a circular lock or whatever you call that. We figured it could hold the slipper for a long time and he took his first steps. So far so good until we both looked down and screamed because we found most precious treasure: a paperclip. The perfect lock for anything especially for Pinoy flip flops! 

It was hilarious and I wish you were there. I didn't even realize I was awake for more than 24 hours.

I went home and fell asleep right away. 

I woke up a hour ago and the bad feeling is back again.

LOVE,

She's Leaving Home by The Beatles
Photograph by Ed Sheeran
Drive By by Train
Coming Up Roses by Keira Knightly
Balay ni Mayang by Martina San Diego/Kyle Wong


P.S: Photos by Mitzie