It's 5am

And ice cream, wine and Arctic Monkeys is not a good idea. It's like having a sugar rush but your whole world is in slow motion and you're sad.

Do not attempt to try it.

----------------------------------------

'Sup?

Realizations are still the worst. 

This past few days I've been too passive to use any of my senses to help me with my studies and work. I feel like little versions of myself are screaming inside my brain: "WHAT THE !*&% ARE YOU DOING WOMAN?!"

*sigh

I'm about to graduate and one small stupid move can tip the scales and probably embarrass not only the people in who witnessed and waited for this shiz to happen, but also the little versions of me inside my head...

..and that's worse.

It sorta feels like I'm running out of time

And what I hate about it is the fact that I have developed this lame "thing" inside me that's easily discouraged to do what I am usually good at.

I don't know if the world grew meaner or it already was and I was just too naive.

It hurts how you get noticed and remembered only for your flaws. 

Like, they [people] make you think you are made up of flaws and you will NEVER get anything right. 

It's ironic, however, that when you DO get something right-- you won't hear them talking about it nor complimenting you about it-- because they choose to define YOU as a flaw and EVERY. BIT. OF WHAT YOU DO WILL ALWAYS. HAVE. A. FLAW. 

And no matter how much you convince yourself to ignore their criticisms-- you can't. Because you choose to believe you're a flaw too.

Which is sad.

Because it's true.

But I have learned that you really need to fight back.

Try.

Try.

And try to fight back because the only thing worth fighting for is yourself.

And you're sorta like, your only defender.


[Merry Christmas]

LOVE,

PLAYLIST:

Let It Be by The Beatles
Million Reasons by Lady Gaga
B Boy by Mutya Buena ft AMy Winehouse
No. 1 Party Anthem by Arctic Monkeys
Don't Shoot Me Santa Claus by The Killers

Photos by: Kyle Chua and Samatha Ares

Taken from: Red Media Studio